“Like a needle needs a vein…like TIM needs his FAITH!!” I think I just vomited in my mouth! I think the world wants to hear something new like a duet about another women grabbing your husbands crotch… Ok I’ll quit hating on the couple that NEEDS TO GET A ROOM….I do love me some TIM and well if it’s a package deal I guess I love me some FAITH too!!

(faces edited to protect the innocent)

A few of our spies where on Lower Broadway (Nashville’s honky-tonk district) after the CMT Music Awards and spotted Z-list artist BOBBY BROWN… every one’s favorite delusional, drug addict, erratic, wife-beating, DUI jail bird, and dead-beat father acting in his typical obnoxious manner.

WHITNEY… WTF? Why did it take you 14 years to leave this piece of worthless shit? More importantly, why is the “country music establishment” welcoming this piece of shit into Nashville especially when there are countless other truly talented country music artists who deserve a chance? (see headline)

At least BOBBY wasn’t driving. However, his “designated driver” should NOT have been behind the wheel nither as he was going down four-lane Broadway Avenue in the wrong direction of traffic!!!

Perhaps this proves that the country music establishment has lost their minds.

DIERKS BENTLEY is funny, he’s charming, and he’s beautiful… this is what we call PERFECTION!! DAMN BOY it’s illegal what you do to women!

CARRIE UNDERWOOD may have won American Idol, but last night she left the CMT Music Awards empty handed!  Hasn’t she heard that “X” MARKS THE SPOT… obviously she didn’t see that on the purple carpet!!  Someone should have told her and maybe her luck would’ve changed!!  At least CARRIE was able to keep her shoes on for three hours unlike BFF TAYLOR SWIFT.  Better luck next time CARRIE… there’s always the Nickelodean Awards:)

NAH-NAH-NA-BOO-BOO I BEAT CARRIE!!!!

After Spider Woman’s (a/k/a PAULA ABDUL) preshow interview and dancing on stage, it might appear that she was a bit “off” last night on the CMT Music Awards….. two letters for you PAULA: “AA”!!

KEITH URBAN got his first haircut in eight years! I think the new look is refreshing and was much needed…now if we can only get him the MEMO that said the vest is OUT…just because JOE DON ROONEY still insists on wearing those damn vests, doesn’t mean it’s COOL!! I do love that he’s rockin the chain.

P.S.:  Are we sure that NICOLE KIDMAN is pregnant? She looks amazing but maybe someone needs to tell her to eat…the baby needs nourishment!!

I know HANK WILLIAMS, JR. has been tagged an OUTLAW for many years but after seeing him last night on the CMT Music Awards… he should be branded “OUT OF HIS DAMN MIND!”

Hank is a huge Steelers Fan so the printed Steelers t-shirt didn’t really faze me. It was how he decided to accessorize with that belt that shocked the hell out of me!! The belt itself was rather ridiculous but when he placed the belt over his un-tucked shir,t I started to wonder what in God’s green earth was he thinking? I know he’s never been a style guru but he had to have lost a drunken bet… there’s no way he stumbled across the belt in his daughter’s closet and decided to wear it!! The irony of it all is the song HANK sang with BRAD PAISLEY last night was “I”m Still a Guy” and had lyrics that said… “I still got a pair. Yeah honey, I’m still a guy!” HANK you better take a closer look….do you still have a pair??

Could this be the reason for her quick engagement? If not, she definitely needs to fire her stylist!! Her little, tight, purple dress was far from flattering for the normally stunning SARA EVANS. Curves are beautiful but this dress makes her look a cross between Barney and “Tinky Winky” the telletuby!! SHAME ON SOMEONE…

(photo by David Kaffie)

A Spy caught up with JAMEY JOHNSON, with a full band, last week at Tootsies Orchid Lounge in Nashville. All we can say about JAMEY is that he is a talented mother fucker! When we told him he was a “talented mother fucker,” he responded by saying… “I don’t know about being talented, but I am a mother fucker.”

After listening to JAMEY’s two albums and hearing his chart topping compositions, it’s undisputable that Jamey is the “Mayor of Country Music.” Be sure to listen for his current radio release “In Color”. Its RNS!!!

BNA Records / SonyBMG are dumb asses for letting him off their roster… especially when you consider all the the crap music they put out!!! What is going on over there? Several UMG underlings were out at the show kissing his ass. JAMEY, if you do some sort of deal with UMG, please make ‘em pay up big!!! Be sure to buy the Mayor’s new record “That Lonesome Song” online. We bought it from his MySpace page.